Weekly(ish) Newsletter: Who Did I Go To Morocco With?
Hope you had a great holiday. I've been working on a project for the airport with someone who also happens to read this newsletter. During one of our initial meetings, we started sharing about relationships and I mentioned my ex and that things went south (again) after our trip to Morocco.
He replied, "Hey! You didn't tell us that's who you went to Morocco with."
And then I realized he was right. (Clearly, I knew I hadn't).
So yes, I went to Morocco with my ex. I tried that again. Morocco was amazing and I don't regret it. Quickly after though, I realized that the situation hadn't changed and I was the one enabling it. After my summer of closing doors on old things, I realized this was one that I absolutely had to close if I wanted to live the life that I desired. I think we both knew. We didn't have a conversation about it, we just kinda stopped talking.
Since then, I took thyself (myself, not sure why I wanted to use thyself) to therapy to really see where I was and work on clearing out the old baggage that made me continue to make decisions like this. I felt mostly good about, but I also recognized that I'd been through a lot over a really short period of time (closed Studio No. 7, was contacted by my biological father, stopped speaking to my stepfather, Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, ended things with my ex, started Holy Sip).
Therapy has affirmed me in a lot of ways. I felt confident about the things that I was letting go of and believed that it was an act of self love, an area that I've really grown in over the past year. And I was right. I'm also learning some of my blind spots and I finally have labels for certain behaviors and techniques for how to conquer them.
This has all really helped with how I've related to men recently. I've been a lot more open while also being very vocal in expressing my boundaries and acting accordingly. It's also helping me with Holy Sip. The tastings have been going great and I absolutely love them. I've also challenged myself to blog for this entire month. I've missed about three days (a Drake/Migos filled weekend and Thankgsiving), but I'm pretty committed to it. I've also started working on a book proposal that I've been dragging my feet on all year (anyone know of any nonfiction food/bev agents?).
It's been quite the year. I've had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. However, I wouldn't trade any of it. It's all been necessary. I'm more confident than I've ever been and also absolutely certain that I'm on the right path. I'm grateful to be standing brighter and taller.
If you've been thinking about it, get thee to therapy. (I'm using BetterHelp which allows me to write unlimited messages and also do a weekly call or video with my therapist. I've found that it's pretty much the same as going to someone's office. Just a little more convenient).
There's an amazing light (and parties and cocktails and fun) at the end of the tunnel.